January 4, 2008
As Dolly Parton once said, "Find out who you are; then do it on purpose."
Although making a New Year's resolution is a tradition for many of us, our resolutions are often vague and fleeting. How do we make them stick is the question I want to know. And, how do we know what we really want to resolve in the first place?
Since I have no idea about either, I turned to the horoscopes for advice.
It did not take long for me to glean a wealth of guidance from the daily astrology columns. Here is what they say about weight loss, debt, and relationships, the big three most popular New Year's resolutions.
For instance, if you want to become more fit and lose weight, take this astrological admonition to heart, "The best way to solve a problem is to move directly toward its center." I do not think they mean the center of a jelly donut.
Perhaps, you resolve in 2008 to take on lingering problems that have bedeviled you during the outgoing year, such as credit card bills. If so, astrologers tell us it is time to "awaken your inner warrior" and "walk into the fire" and "start paying those puppies off".
If you happen to have both situations, mountains of debt and plenty of unwanted fat, astrologers tell us that you may feel like "your life is about to be upgraded from a tropical storm to a full-blown hurricane."
Astrological experts advise, "Take heart if you are on an uphill drive on an icy road. There is plenty of time to drive later on, ride in the backseat awhile, put on the brakes, and drive slowly. Solutions are just around the bend, but you must keep on driving and never abort your journey."
I just love the way these astrologers write.
If you happen to have trouble with relationships, here is what the stargazers say. "Do you feel like a close friend or family member has been spending too much time with aliens?" Their advice is to be clear about confronting them, "Beware of full frontal assaults as they can backfire. Use the backdoor approach."
In a nutshell then, I gather from the horoscopes that we must do the following.
Avoid the gooey center of pastries, pay bills off a little at a time and lose the worry, and never go full frontal assault on your 60-year-old friends and ask if they have gained some weight or wonder if they have noticed they may have hearing loss.
The common definition of "resolution" is a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner, and at the beginning of the New Year we want that to include solving these problems in our lives.
Here's mine, "I will take neither myself nor any of the above seriously."
Happy New Year!
